Karaoke, Khakis and the Art of the Deal: A Businessman's Guide to Karaoke in Asia

Imagine this.

Two middle-aged “senior” executives, their inhibitions blissfully sleeping under the influence of way too much Chivas and green tea, throw all decorum aside as their vocal chords strain to unleash a heretofore never achieved destruction of "Unchained Melody". Next up, an equally inspired trio with a collective sound strikingly similar to "nails on a chalkboard" who are tenacious in their belief their rendition of Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody", despite their serious melodic challenges and equally poor grasp of English, is the real reason the audience was wildly applauding at the end. As one looks around the packed room, there seems no end in sight to the horrors of sound that might follow as patrons at every table are busily browsing through a seemingly infinite directory of tunes from around the globe, from every genre and generation, searching for that special song they need to sing tonight.

But imagination is optional. Just visit any karaoke lounge in Tokyo, Shanghai, Hanoi or Seoul almost any night of the week and it is possible to witness firsthand this shameless display of raw talent and emotion. Welcome to karaoke Asian style!

Modern karaoke is reputed to have originated in Japan in the early 1970's and is arguably the most popular pastime in Asia. Karaoke has been pegged by many so-called experts on Asian society and social psychology as the much needed relief valve to vent one's feelings of joy, frustration, anger and pain, whether in love or in life; an act normally considered culturally taboo in daily life in Asia. Coming from Japan, a country noted for its lemming-like conformity in hiding emotions, this idea of karaoke as therapy is not so strange. Whether or not karaoke is indeed a psychic healing force remains debatable but one thing is for sure. Day in and night out, whether at home, on the road, or in the literally hundreds of thousands of KTV joints flourishing in the region, karaoke, or at least the karaoke as practiced by our Asian friends, has certainly taken entertainment to a whole new level.

At the commercial level, there are karaoke venues targeting every conceivable subset of society-from young and old, the rich or poor, the prim or promiscuous. My particularly favorite, or at least most familiar, business model targets predominately male patrons, especially those on expense accounts. Set amid a backdrop of high end electronics, plush leather sofas and muted lighting, one can experience this cathartic release of emotion surrounded by a harem of nubile cuties, dressed in low cut black, beige or red chiffon evening gowns clinging to their youthful curves like saran wrap; their principle purpose being to light cigarettes, mix drinks, and shower their gravel voiced patrons with profuse and highly exaggerated compliments on their singing skills and manliness.

Besides a seemingly endless array of commercial establishments, almost every home, from the lowly peasant dwellings of China and Vietnam to the penthouses and palaces of Hong Kong and Kuala Lumpur, is equipped with at least one device capable of putting the wails of the neighbor's cat in heat to shame. With a virtually bottomless price floor for consumer electronics and the proliferation of low cost DVD burners throughout Asia, the pleasure of one's own stage on which to warble to their heart's contentment is now within reach of anyone with access to electricity. From the young and young-at-heart "wannabes" in Tokyo covering the latest pop hits in the chic clubs in Roppongi and Ginza to those old Red Army warriors in Sichuan wailing the heart rendering lyrics of "Ostmanthus Flowers Blooming Everywhere in August" at family dinners, almost no social outing in Asia is complete without at least one round of singing, often evolving into an all night affairs. Karaoke is as deeply engrained in the fabric of society in Asia as khakis are in the business casual wardrobe of America's business elite.

But to a businessman like myself, the most intriguing aspect of karaoke in Asia, particularly when practiced in the man friendly environment described above, is its pervasive influence in successfully concluding a business deal, something I would like to call the ktv-Quotient. Let's consider the following not so hypothetical situation.

Company A has a superior product, excellent after-sales support, the best value and all the trappings of a reliable business partner. Company A's sales effort is led by a seasoned professional who is at the top of his game in every aspect.

Company A's team, although highly skilled in the art of selling, has a very low ktv-quotient and would have a hard time finding their way around a karaoke lounge even with a GPS system.

Company B's product, pricing and service are just so-so, in fact, in some aspects, border on inferior. Its sales pitch and presentation is not that persuasive nor does its team really understand the customer's requirements.

Company B's team has an awesome ktv-quotient, with each member holding a wallet full of VIP cards and all of its staff on a first name basis with the staff at every KTV in town.

Under these conditions, Company B will almost always win the deal, particularly when the time gap between the last visit to KTV hosted by Company B for the customer's predominately male decision makers and the contract signing by the customer's predominantly male decision makers is less than one week. Now why is that? What exactly is it power of this ktv-quotient in closing the deal?

Well, I cannot say for certain, but I think I have a pretty good idea. To share this with you I would like to liberally paraphrase the thoughts of Samantha Culp, found in an interesting article in Asia Sentinel about her experiences as a hostess in Japan. From my own experience and observations I think her insight is spot on.

"Drinking is a huge part of the Asian business culture itself where a staggering percentage of the male populace "staggers" home each night (pun intended). Karaoke and Hostess bars are an important part of this culture that requires obligatory drinking with colleagues after work, and getting wasted with partners to seal a business deal. Drinking comes to signify trust, relaxation and a certain absolution from any adult responsibility. When inebriated, men are almost not accountable for their actions, whether those entail attempting to cop a feel on the train, or to passing out in public after hurling chunks all over the subway platform.

Looking at the clients in the club, the majority are middle-aged, married with children, and in the middle of pretty conventional lives, which begs the question, why were they here? What were they looking for?

Of course the bevy of beautiful and sexy young attendants play no small part. Yes, they want the fantasy of sex, but also they want the fantasy of romance, of a "perfect" ageless girlfriend, always ready for drinking, flirtation and fun, but who disappears at the end of the night, no strings attached. They want a world apart from the daily grind of the working world, where they could be simultaneously children and kings of the castle. Especially in the world of salarymen or corporate staff, where most were not as powerful or as rich as they had trained to be, they wanted a place where they could still command awe and respect, if only by spending $20.00 on a dish of stale Pringles or impressing their peers with an earthy performance of "Feelings" that would make Morris Albert proud"

So there it is. The ktv-quotient is 1 part play, 1 part fantasy and 2 parts, in the immortal words of Aretha Franklin, R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Those late deliveries, mistaken invoices and shoddy goods can all be worked out later between friends because in spite of everything, the good intent was there to begin with wasn't it? And we are friends aren't we (?), because only friends would allow friends to get drunk and sing karaoke.

So as karaoke's recent rise in popularity in the US suggests, along with its supporting cast of the likes of "American Idol" and the "Singing Bee", it may only be a matter of time before your local latte hangout not only offers WIFI but also the tools you need to work out the kinks in your version of "My Way". With that in mind, here are some thoughts for you road warriors out there to ponder. Will those polished and well-practiced PowerPoint presentations extolling your features and benefits soon be subordinated in the laptop to the list of latest hot lyrics? Are those front row seats for the Knick's games soon to be replaced by a corporate table at Sing Sing? Is the HR department already looking for a reliable measure of ktv-Quotient to add to their immense battery of screening tests? After all, this is the age of globalizing best practices isn't it?

Sorry, I have to go now and I will leave you to mull over those possibilities. It is my time to work on that technique of hand cupping the mic to maximize the vocal modulations. My coach really thinks I am only a few weeks away from nailing a killer version of "Summer Time".